How Are Bullies Created?

We are right to be concerned about the victims of bullies.  They are the obvious prey and targets of inexcusable acts of sabotage, anger, humiliation, intimidation, and coercion. The victim feels powerless, helpless and trapped.  It is a situation that is not acceptable and must not be condoned by bystanders or authority figures.

The other silent victim is the bully himself or herself.  He or she has an extremely low self-esteem and self-image to be able to imagine or execute his or her bullying behaviors.  I wonder if the bully has been raised in a loving family, with kindness, encouragement and love.  I wonder if anyone has taken the time to discipline this person in a fair, caring, and responsible manner.  I wonder if this person loves himself or herself when attacking another individual who is younger, smaller, or unable to emotionally, psychologically or physically defend themselves.  The bully, as he or she ages, with no intervention, will potentially continue to deliver a more refined and subtle version of distress to others such as persecution, sabotage, financial ruin, bigotry, harassment, humiliation, torture and abuse.

The time to intervene is when the behavior begins.  What kind of environment is this child a product of?  What kind of intervention can we do for the victim and his or her tormentor?  Both are hurting from lack of self-esteem and the knowledge of how to solve problems without violence, Both need emotional, psychological and physical support from family, friends and significant adults and role models.  Both need forgiveness and encouragement to find a better way to negotiate life's problems.They are both victims of what they are learning in society. We can provide, for all schools and activity centers, the wonderful programs that have been developed to stop bullies from continuing to harass others and begin the journey of mature problem-solving behavior with mercy and kindness.  Victims can learn how to stand up for themselves and become mentors for others. Both can find peace and have a bright future.