Surrogate Fathers

There are many men who are not honored on Father's Day who are not biological or officially adoptive fathers.  These are the men who mentor children who do not have actively involved fathers but who still need father-figures in their lives.  Some fathers are deceased, of unknown origin, in prison, involved with a second family, are divorced and not in touch, are ill, are drug-addicted, are distant emotionally, are abusive, are in the service, are legally unable to be available to their children or are not psychologically open to children. That leaves many children without the example, support and love of a father.  Always God the father is available!

 Fortunately, there are compassionate men who step up to the plate to fill the gaps for children who they know.  They may be step-fathers, extended family, coaches, neighbors, friends, grandfathers, teachers, police officers, older siblings, mentors, employers, Big Brothers (from a program), ministers, priests, rabbis, leaders or members of any churches, synagogues, mosques, (any religious communities), boys and girls clubs, foster fathers, and all surrogate fathers who create a safe place for biologically unrelated children to be loved and protected by a father. I think of the men who volunteer time to perform surgery for children with cleft palate or other disfiguring or incapacitating diseases/deformities, who share family time with non-biological children who need father-time, individuals who salvage the good in children who have been abused/neglected and create an atmosphere for them to grow and flourish, those who provide the example of what a father is just by living their lives with love and acceptance.

I salute all of you who make a difference every day for children who need and want a father.  I thank you for your contributions to the lives of children who need you. Thank you for being the arms of God reaching out with love and caring!

A Father's Prayer

This was listed in my bulletin as "A Father's Prayer"

One night a father overheard his son pray, "Dear God, make me the kind of man my daddy is."

Later that night, the father prayed, "Dear God, make me the kind of man my son wants me to be."

Our children learn by example.  It is not enough to tell your child, "Do what I say, not what I do."
Good fathers, who are not perfect and make mistakes, know that they are the example of how to live your life.  Fathers have the responsibility to become the best man they can become.  They show how to love, support and forgive the mother of their children even if they are deceased, divorced, in prison, or unavailable to their children.  They live their marriage vows by placing the needs of God, their wife and their children above all else.  They value family over the acquisition of money, status, power, infidelity, deception, and fame.  They live with a strong value system and teach their family about faith, honor, honesty, loyalty, forgiveness, generosity, compassion, patriotism, and hope by the way they live their lives each and every day.

A great father tells his family frequently, "I love you."  When necessary he has the humility to say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake."  He will then demonstrate how to make it right.  He knows how to be a partner to share responsibilities, chores, money, possessions and decision-making.  He shows how to be compassionate, accepting of the differences of others, and is open to dialog with caring, listening skills.  He is the man who is loved and respected by family, co-workers, neighbors, friends, community, and country.  A great father is great just by who he is. I thank God that we have many great fathers and have many who aspire to be great fathers.

New Life

I recently was privileged to meet my latest granddaughter and visit with my son, daughter-in-law, and their other children.  I can't put into words the joy and love I felt holding this beautiful human being who was created in approximately nine months. How amazing that this process occurs in the cocoon of the uterus and she was nestled inside her mother.  She is a part of her mother and her father and carries genes from generations of the past.  She is a gift from God and loved by her earth family.

She is only loaned to us as she lives her life on this earth.  Her future is stretched before her with uncertainty, joy, sorrow, unbridled possibilities, faith, hope, love, peace, strife, pain, and excitement.  She is the future of the world because she and all of the other children of the world can make positive and creative solutions to life's challenges as they emerge into adulthood. It is important to nurture and protect these tiny but powerful individuals as they make their mark on the world.

Babies are the hope of our lives and our world.  Each one is special and unique. Each one has unlimited potential. Each and every baby deserves to be loved, protected and encouraged. Babies, children, teens and young adults are challenging but amazing and keep us open to possibilities! They are truly a gift from God.

Veterans and Families

I have never been a veteran.  I have no idea what a veteran and his or her family have to cope with on a daily basis.  I do know that I appreciate everything they do to keep us safe and able to go on with our daily lives.  I also thank veteran's family members who have to deal with moving constantly, worry about the health and safety of the veteran family member or members.

I was talking to the wife of a veteran.  She has a business working out of her home because it was a portable job that she could do wherever her husband was stationed.  She made the best of her situation because it was difficult to find a job whenever the family was reassigned to a different part of the country or out of the country.  She was almost apologizing because she didn't have a more established profession.  I could only applaud her ingenuity as she coped with the many moves her family had endured to remain with her husband.

Another veteran talked about missing his older child when his ex-wife went to court while he was out of the country to change custody.  He was forced to pay child support but could not see his son because she told the judge this veteran had post-traumatic stress disorder and she was afraid of his inability to parent his son.  He did not have that diagnosis.  Regardless, he lost all rights to see his son while he was defending his country.

I have met veterans who have the burden of post-traumatic stress disorder and have many years of treatment to try to cope with the horrors of war. The family members also have to cope with the effects of this mind altering trauma. Other veterans are in therapy for physical injury, loss of limbs or vision, loss of coordination or brain trauma.

Veterans are survivors.  Their family members are survivors.  They are all heroes. Thank you for everything you have done for us! You are loved!

Team effort

I became aware of a church member who had broken teeth from a recent fall.  She is in her 70's and was unable to to eat or chew properly.  When we checked about getting help for her dental work, we discovered that she was living in an unsafe, unsanitary environment with few furnishings, no curtains and no one to help her.  She was living in an apartment with 20 steep stairs to the apartment and 40 steep stairs to the shared basement with the washer and dryer.

Church members assisted in setting up appointments with low income dental care and paid for the repairs.  Church members found her a low income senior facility with a an apartment on one floor with a large kitchen, walk-in shower, and other seniors to visit with.

Several things happened to make it possible for this person to move ASAP to this beautiful facility.

Individuals helped to organize paperwork, assisted her to visit her doctor to get a prescription stating she needed to find a home without steps for safety, contact the facility, arrange for all necessary paperwork to be given to the facility.  The facility gave her a tour, placed her on a list for emergency housing, and church members were notified of the need for additional furnishings so that she could eventually move in.

A resident at the facility moved to an assisted living and her family decided to leave a bed and bedding, table and chairs, all kitchen utensils, microwave, towels, phones, book cases, curtains, etc. for the new resident.  The church members donated other furnishings, helped to pick up donations, take them to the apartment and set everything up for her.  Some money was donated to help with initial expenses.

I can tell you, I have never seen anyone so excited about her new home and her new life!  She kept saying, "It feels like Christmas!"  She has become a new person with a new lease on life.  She has found old and new friends and feels that God wanted her to be in this safe and comforting home.

We can't help everyone but we can help the ones we know about!  One person can't achieve much but a team of people with God's help can accomplish miracles.  Look for miracles you can perform! We all have special gifts to share to make a difference in someone's life!

The Bible

There was a recent controversy about whether to include a bible with an exhibit representing American soldiers.  I was never a soldier but I can imagine that many soldiers carried bibles or books of their own faith.  I can't imagine a soldier who wouldn't be anxious or worried about losing his or her life, limbs or acquiring permanent injuries in the course of a war.  Faith is a wonderful comfort in any stressful situation.  I think it would be appropriate to include many books of faith in the exhibit as there are soldiers of many faiths.  I would rather see inclusion of these faith books, rather than to take away the bible and leave no reference to God.  God is worshiped all over the world and prayers are universal, especially for anyone in a dangerous and unpredictable environment. I'm sure that God heard many prayers from our soldiers!

Happy Mother's Day!

I salute all mothers who have given the world a child, whether the child is biological, adopted, assimilated into a family, someone "adopted" through love, someone who has been an unheralded support system or someone who is just special to a child. True mothers are individuals who exhibit unconditional love, who exemplify how to live with morals, empathy, compassion, and unselfishness. There are many mothers who are unrecognized, unheralded, quiet, behind the scenes champions of their children each and every day no matter how young or old their children are.  They place the needs of the child first even though it may involve tough parenting decisions.  Sometimes they hurt more than the child when discipline is involved. Mothers do what they think is best out of love and respect for the child. They want their child to know they are loved while the child is expected to be responsible, caring, respectful and obedient.  It is a difficult and thankless job, at times. to be a mother. At the same time, it is one of the most fulfilling jobs in the world, because mothers help to nurture the most wonderful human beings who may grow up to be fantastic mothers, fathers or adults.  Mothers are everyday heroes.  I am reminded of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who gives us the example of unconditional love. Being a mother is a very special responsibility that will impact a child for the rest of his or her life!  Mothers make a difference!  I am so proud of all of you who make the world a secure and happy place for a child even under very difficult circumstances.  Life is not easy but a mother makes an easy life!  Have a wonderful mother's day!