Our Future in the New Year

"We usher in the New Year with good intentions and heartfelt desires.  We drop a giant ball and hope for the best."  B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart

"Life is a river and it carries you to your future whether you want to go or not."  Hallmark

We are on the journey of life and it continues on relentlessly.  Every year goes by faster than the last.  Yet we are still alive.  We have choices and opportunities that await us in the new year.  The only thing that may stop us is ourselves and our fear.

"You are not defined by your past.  You are prepared by your past.You are stronger than your challenges.  Believe in yourself and stay strong. Let go of the thoughts that don't make you strong."  Heather Lynch, Marketing Consultant

"Fear is a thief, it steals all your todays by making you dread tomorrow.  But today is all you have, it's all anyone has. There is no reason to worry about tomorrow--God is already there."                 
Do you know why God put faces on the front of people's bodies?  Faces are on the front so that people can see where we are going, not where we have been."
Touched by an Angel show

I pray that you make the choice to move forward, place your future in God's hands, and remember how to love others, and to make a positive difference in the world.  You can do that one moment at a time, one person at time and one opportunity at a time. This moment is the first moment for the rest of your life. Make the best of it as we don't know how many new years we have left!  You are in charge of your own life! Make the best of it!  Happy New Year!

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Happiness

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."   Joseph Addison

My Christmas wish for all of you would be that you will find the gift of happiness.  Find something to do that is meaningful and enriches the lives of others.  Find someone to love including yourself, your family, your friends or someone in need.  Find hope in your life as you seek the good and beautiful things sometimes hidden in this world of chaos, narcissism, electronics and and impersonal communications.  Hope is contagious--we can share it with everyone we come in contact with.  A genuine smile can be infectious!

I wish that we can look and really see ourselves and others in all of the imperfections, and find a kindred soul. Actively listen non-judgmentally and find another struggling individual.  Walk in their shoes and find acceptance and tolerance unselfishly within ourselves.

I wish for you to find the joys of Christmas as you see it through the eyes of a child.

"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth."  Frederick von Schuiller

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!




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What Time Does Jesus Get Here?

"A couple took their 3-year-old to church for the first time at Christmas.  Getting impatient while waiting for Mass to start, he turned to his mother and asked, "What time does Jesus get here?"
                      Taken from a church bulletin

Children are so wonderful and open to the experience of celebrating the holidays with various faiths, in various countries and in the entire world.  The expectations, the excitement and the gathering of family and friends in a spirit of love create lifelong memories.

"Advent's intention is to awaken the most profound and basic emotional memory within us, namely, the memory of the God who became a child.  This is a healing memory; it brings hope."
                                      Pope Benedict XVI

The Christmas and other celebratory gatherings bring out the best in most of us because the emphasis is on loving, giving, sharing, and caring.  It is time to take a look at the most important aspects of our lives including family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members and people who are struggling with their lives and need a dose of hope. It is a time to look outside of our own needs and think of others.

Remember, it is not the gift itself, it is the love and thought behind it!  There are many types of gifts including smiles, hugs, kind gestures, thoughtfulness, or connection with ourselves and others, and making a difference in a person's life.

It is not about how many things we can accumulate, how much money we receive or how perfectly we create the best meal, the most beautifully decorated house, the perfectly orchestrated plans.  It is about faith, hope, love and kindness.

"As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?  The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E mail?"

My wish for you is for Christmas blessings that have nothing to do with computers, preoccupation with purchases and look for the gifts from the heart!

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Peace

The holidays are a wonderful time of hustle, bustle, family, friends, parties, celebrations, church activities, shopping, gifts and finding our place in the chaos. It can also be lonely, sad and challenging.  It is difficult to find a sense of peace and quiet to be able to slow down enough to enjoy the moment.

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."   St. Francis de Sales

Sometimes, while taking a moment to relax, we become aware of the passage of this instant opportunity to stand still and enjoy life.  When we are in this brief, fleeting, transient minute, life stops and we are no longer a part of the past or the future. We are living now, totally and fully without stress.  We can even beome aware of our slower breathing, heart rate and cessation of anxiety.

Give yourself the gift of solitude in the midst of pandemonium!  Discover what is truly important for the holidays and remember those who are less fortunate.

"The gift is to the giver--it comes back most to him (or her)--it cannot fail."   Walt Whitman

Gifts for the spirit are more significant than gifts from the store. Remember to give gifts of time, ability, listening, checking in on family and neighbors, shoveling snow, helping with transportation, kindness, and hugs.  These are the gifts that are memorable and timeless.


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Forgiveness

There are many news stories about leaders in many different fields who have been held in high esteem until recent exposure for corruption, sexual exploits, contributions to pornography in adults and children, embezzlement, and cruelty.  For family and friends, the shock is overwhelming between the belief in the person and the reality of the person.

How can we be so easily deceived by someone who professes to love and respect us?  How can individuals use their influence and trust to deceive those who believe in them?  How can someone so honored and esteemed become so despicable?

The answer lies in our tendency to overlook or disregard hints of the negative behaviors of the person we admire or love because it is easier than confronting the truth.  Truth can be hidden but will eventually be discovered because of the many lies needed to cover it up.  Truth prevails in the long run but at great cost to loved ones, friends and society. 

We all have choices to support evil or to expose it and begin doing the right thing.  Too many of us keep silent when we need to stand up for the all of the people: ourselves, the poor, under-educated, immigrants fleeing from persecution, people who are simply different in faith, color, sexuality, or economic status. 

We can still love the person but expose the behaviors with the truth.  Evil can't hide behind the truth.  We must find our voices to bring peace, hope and trust back to our world and our daily lives. Holidays shared by many faiths can remind us of hope and peace.  We can still ask God to help us find goodness in each other.  We are responsible for our actions and for avoiding the truth we know in our hearts.  Doing nothing is not acceptable! Forgive but don't "cover up" what we know!  Have wonderful holidays! 

"My Friend Just Died. I Don't Know What to Do."

I am copying a story found on the web for you that may help if you are experiencing grief during the holidays or any time. Grief is especially hard to handle during holidays.  I hope you find that the love you experienced has been worth the pain you now feel so deeply.

"Alright, here goes.  I'm old.  What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not.  I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks.  I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child.  But here's my two cents."

"I wish that I could say that you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances.  But I don't want it to "not matter." I don't want it to be something that just passes.  My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love.  So be it.  Scars are a testament to life.  Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gauged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was.  Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see."

"As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves.  When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you.  Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more.  And all you can do is float.  You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for awhile.  Maybe it's some physical thing.  Maybe its a happy memory or a photograph.  Maybe its a person who is also floating.  For a while, all you can do is float.  Stay alive."

"In the beginning, the waves are 100  feet tall and crash over you without mercy.  The come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath,  All you can do is hang on and float.  After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart.  When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out.  But in between, you can breathe, you can function.  You never know what's going to trigger the grief.  It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee.  It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing.  But in between waves, there is life."

"Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart.  You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare.You can see it coming for the most part, and prepare yourself.  And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will. again, come out on the other side.  Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

"Take it from an old guy.  The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to.  But you learn that you'll survive them.  And other waves will come.  And you'll survive them too.  If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves, And lots of shipwrecks."

If the grieving person is lucky, he or she will find someone like you to listen, hold and hug, be present and share the grief.  You don't have to say anything. Your undivided attention, hugs and presence is more than enough!  You are in my prayers!
 

Facing Life and Reality

I was at the grocery the other day.  I was buying eggs and had to wait briefly for the man who was stocking the shelves.  He was shaking his head and with a slight grin he stated, "There are never any small eggs."  I looked at the shelves.  There were medium eggs, large eggs, extra large eggs but no "small eggs."  We looked at each other and discussed the marketing strategies that are prevalent and are attacking our sense of reality.  Of course there are small eggs.  The eggs are marketed as medium eggs so that they appeal to our sense of getting a better deal.  Who would want to buy small eggs when they can get medium or large eggs? 

It is important to be able to choose wisely in our lives.  We can face reality or we can pretend or repackage our concept of the truth so that it becomes a new, distorted reality.  The truth is the truth.  If someone is a womanizer, a groper, a rapist, a corrupt politician, a con artist or someone who is simply immoral, no matter how they are presented, need to be held accountable for their actions. If we support them politically, personally, or by remaining silent, we are condoning immoral behaviors.  We are deceiving ourselves and others by repackaging information to convince ourselves that it is acceptable when it is, in fact, deplorably inadequate and repugnant. 

We have to live with ourselves.  At some point, reality and the consequences of our actions have to be faced. Our example, our legacy, has to be positive and aboveboard for the future world that our children and grandchildren inherit.  Let us be leaders of honesty, integrity and peace.