Jeff

I can't believe that life is so fragile and can change in an instant.  My sister called one morning and told me that Jeff had died suddenly during the night.  A husband of 40 years with four children and grandchildren died at age 61.  Jeff was a man who had boundless energy.  He was extremely intelligent and had a wonderful sense of humor.  He lived life to the fullest and had just recently gone on a wonderful vacation. Jeff traveled extensively with his job and with his wife Kathleen for vacations.  He has many friends everywhere he lived and traveled.  I think he will have wonderful discussions in Heaven!  Jeff liked to keep busy and would fix computers, a walker for my mother, anything that he could find that needed attention.  Life is just a short term gift that God has given us.  I think Jeff made the most of the time and talents he had.  I hope that the same thing will be said about me when I die.  I think most of us forget that we never know how long we have on this earth and that we need to make everyday count.

Politeness, the lost art

I am so excited when I meet individuals who have learned the art of weaving a peaceful balm of politeness and caring into their everyday lives.  Please, I'm sorry and thank you are very powerful when they are used sincerely and without expectations.  I am so grateful that my grandchildren have been taught to be kind, thoughtful and polite by my sons, daughters, and my daughters-in-law and sons-in-law.  When someone says please, I'm sorry and thank you, they are showing respect, acceptance and acknowledgement of the person they are addressing.  Politeness goes hand in hand with kindness and awareness of the needs of others.  It is also important to know how to say please and thank you to God everyday for the blessings we have, especially for all of those people in our lives who love and encourage us. Telling someone sincerely that "I am sorry" opens the door to dialog, healing and forgiveness. Children learn by example.  It our responsibility to live our lives as a teacher and model of the kind of person we want our children to become.  We can leave a legacy of peace, hope and love in a world that is confusing and often disturbing in its brutal, raw, enraged frustration. Our children see us struggle with life choices and when they have an opportunity to see us choose forgiveness over anger: kindness, integrity and caring over lying, cheating and profanity: they are inspired to better themselves. Anger is the absence of love.  Forgiveness is the  healing peace that enables us to embrace love.  Please find love in your heart, peace in your life, and don't be afraid to say I'm sorry!  And especially remember that God is always available.  He is our teacher and our refuge!

The Present

This is a quote that I copied from somewhere.  I don't have the author's name.  

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow a mystery
Today is a gift
That's why it is called the present

It's important for all of us to realize that life can change in an instant.  We never know how much time we have.  The time we have now is precious.  What is it that we want to accomplish with our lives?  It is not something we can postpone forever because we don't have forever.  We do have today and the opportunity to make our lives count.  We can't take money and physical things with us when we die.  We can bring the love and respect of our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and those we meet on a daily basis.  We can leave ripples of love on the waters of our life.  It's our choice and our gift to have time that we experience as the present.

Chrissy

I'm thinking of Chrissy today.  I miss her even though I didn't physically see her often, I always knew she was there by phone or other media.  She was a woman of faith and served her family, friends and neighbors.  I remember when she was dating her husband Jerry. Jerry is a real cowboy who lives a somewhat isolated lifestyle.  Chrissy loved people, city lifestyle of movies, parties, music, and comforts of technology.  When she and Jerry left for cowboy life, I couldn't imagine how she would survive.  Sometimes she lived without indoor plumbing, she was socially alone with neighbors who lived miles away and she was not fond of riding horses!  She and Jerry loved each other and were able to compromise during the first couple of rough years.  Because they had to depend on each other, their relationship became very close and they were truly a couple.  They also grew in faith while they raised their two sons.  Chrissy was able to take her love of photography to her cowboy life and left a wonderful record of photos to document a lifestyle that is slowly fading away.  Jerry was able to take her photos and make beautiful paintings and drawings.  They were a team.  They both had a deep love of their children and were involved in their community.  I know she is no longer alive except in the minds, spirit, and hearts of those who loved her.  I know that she is enjoying her pain-free lifestyle of our personal angel in heaven.  I love you Chrissy!

My small miracle

I was very stressed with grief as my sister was dying out of state and I was unable to be with her.  I had sent in my tax payment with a check but forgot to transfer funds from my savings to my checking account.  I had to pay another bill and decided to check my account balance.  I was shocked to find out it was 0.  I went to the bank immediately and worried about bounced check fees. The cashier informed me that there were no bounced checks and gave me a copy of my recent transactions.  I was shocked to see that the amount I previously had in my account was $229.79.  When I went to Krogers the day before I charged exactly $229.79 to my debit card.  What are the chances that I spent exactly the amount I had in my account to the penny?  I was so relieved that I didn't have to worry about the bank on top of everything else!  How many times do we all experience these miracles but don't recognize the hand of God in our lives!  It was comforting to me that God had my back!

Chrissy

My sister Chrissy, 48 years old, died on July 29, 2015.  I told her she was my hero because she had to endure so much pain without complaint.  She knew she was not well but chose to travel from Jackpot Nevada to Dayton Ohio to celebrate our mother's early birthday party.  She decided she would have pain whether she was at home, traveling or with us at the party.  She always had a deep faith but it was tested when the relentless pain increased.  Her husband Jerry and sons Cody and Clay were very attentive and supportive.  Regardless, the process of dying is something that no one else can do for us.  Chrissy faced her illness with courage and directness.  She knew the recent party for mom was her last chance to say goodbye to her family.  She would have such intense pain that she would curl up in a ball and rock back and forth.  She returned home after traveling with pain for an entire day. She continued to be positive, have a sense of humor and endeavored to make peace with everyone. Jerry was devastated but was totally present for his wife of over 20 years "in sickness and in health". I am so proud of the person of faith that Chrissy became and her willingness to share love in the midst of her pain.  I will always miss her until I see her again when I die.  I picture her with Dad, who died many years ago.  I am so happy she is no longer in pain but I am so sad she is no longer physically present.  I hope we all realize that God only lends our family and friends to us.  We don't know how long any of us will be alive.  I hope we learn to appreciate everyone we have contact with, treat them as we want to be treated and enjoy the time we have.  Hugs and encouragement have no price tag but they are priceless!  I love you Chrissy, Jerry, Cody and Clay.

Chrissy King

This post is dedicated to my sister Chrissy King, her husband Jerry and two sons.  I have worked with hospice and home care patients for many years but it is most difficult when it is a family member.  Chrissy has had multiple cysts, tumors, surgeries and is facing decisions that are significant about treatments within financial constraints.  She tackles everything head on with courage and dignity.  She has the support of faith, family, and friends but the decisions are hers to make.  She looks at life with humor and awareness as she carefully explores her options.  I told her that she is my hero because she makes the most of her life and has positively affected everyone she interacts with.  Life is never what we expect but life expects us to accept the unexpected.  Chrissy lifts our hearts and faith as she continues to take one minute at a time.  She has my prayers and my love.